Marriage: Watch and Learn

BY ELDER L. WHITNEY CLAYTON

The promises of the Lord are extended to all those who follow the pattern of life that builds happy, holy marriage relationships.

One evening several years ago, my wife and I were visiting the home of one of our sons and his wife and children for dinner. It was a typical event for a family with small children: there was much noise and even more fun. Shortly after dinner our four-year-old granddaughter, Anna, and I were still sitting at the table. Realizing that she had my full attention, she stood up straight on a bench and fixed her eyes on me. When she was sure that I was looking at her, she solemnly ordered me to “watch and learn.” She then danced and sang a song for me.
Anna’s instruction to “watch and learn” was wisdom from the mouth of a babe. We can learn so much by watching and then considering what we have seen and felt. In that spirit, let me share with you a few principles I have observed by watching and learning from wonderful, faithful marriages. These principles build strong, satisfying marriages that are compatible with heavenly principles. I invite you to watch and learn with me.
First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.
Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings. I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. They do not consider the commandments to be a buffet from which they can pick and choose only the most appealing offerings.
Faith is the foundation of every virtue that strengthens marriage. Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. Faith grows as we keep the commandments, and so do the harmony and joy in marriage. Thus, keeping the commandments is fundamental to establishing strong eternal marriages. Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.
Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.
Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness. Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.
Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. Practices from any place or any time in which husbands have dominated wives or treated them in any way as second-class partners in marriage are not in keeping with divine law and should be replaced by correct principles and patterns of behavior.
Husbands and wives in great marriages make decisions unanimously, with each of them acting as a full participant and entitled to an equal voice and vote. They focus first on the home and on helping each other with their shared responsibilities. Their marriages are based on cooperation, not negotiation. Their dinner hour and the family time that follows become the center of their day and the object of their best efforts. They turn off electronics and forgo personal entertainment in order to help with household duties. To the extent possible, they read with their children every night and both participate in putting the little ones to bed. They retire to their bed together. As their duties and circumstances permit, husbands and wives work side by side in doing the most important work there is—the work we do in our own homes.
Where there is respect, there is also transparency, which is a key element of happy marriages. There are no secrets about relevant matters in marriages based on mutual respect and transparency. Husbands and wives make all decisions about finances together, and both have access to all information.
Loyalty is a form of respect. Prophets teach that successful marriage partners are “fiercely loyal” to each other. They keep their social media use fully worthy in every way. They permit themselves no secret Internet experiences. They freely share with each other their social network passwords. They do not look at the virtual profiles of anyone in any way that might betray the sacred trust of their spouse. They never do or say anything that approaches the appearance of impropriety, either virtually or physically. Watch and learn: terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal.
Fifth, love. The happiest marriages I have seen radiate obedience to one of the happiest commandments—that we “live together in love.” Speaking to husbands, the Lord commanded, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” A Church handbook teaches: “The word cleave means to be completely devoted and faithful to someone. Married couples cleave to God and one another by serving and loving each other and by keeping covenants in complete fidelity to one another and to God.” Both the husband and wife “leave behind their single life and establish their marriage as [their] first priority. … They allow no other person or interest to have greater priority … than keeping the covenants they have made with God and each other.” Watch and learn: successful couples love each other with complete devotion.
There are those whose marriages are not as happy as they would wish, as well as those who have never married, are divorced, are single parents, or for various reasons are not in a position to marry. These circumstances can be full of challenge and heartbreak, but they need not be eternal. To those of you in such situations who nevertheless “cheerfully do all things that lie in [your] power” to persevere, may heaven bless you richly. Seek after the ideal of forming an eternal marriage, including by striving or preparing to be a worthy spouse. Keep the commandments, and trust the Lord and His perfect love for you. One day every promised blessing concerning marriage will be yours.
One of the sweetest verses in the Book of Mormon states simply, “And they were married, and given in marriage, and were blessed according to the multitude of the promises which the Lord had made unto them.” The promises of the Lord are extended to all those who follow the pattern of life that builds happy, holy marriage relationships. Such blessings come as the delightful, predictable consequences of faithfully living the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am grateful for my wonderful wife, Kathy, who is the love of my life.
Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him. I bear testimony of the marvelous plan of our loving Heavenly Father, which provides for eternal, wondrous marriage. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Please limit the stresses in your life

Listening, Observing, Communicating, and Maintaining your Relationships Proper

This past unit was more about principles as we spoke about parent roles. It is very easy follow the philosophies of man. I am sharing a paragraph a day of the Family Proclamation with my friends on Facebook, and I am surprised to not have received any opposition. The doctrines described in the Family Proclamation is basically the opposite of that of the philosophy of the world. It is easy to follow the common standard that both the Husband and Wife should be working. I thought to myself, if all the mothers quit their jobs, the world would be better off as the unemployed will shrink, and the entire system of the world should be better as the mother will be able to fulfill her role better. Since according to the advice of the class, the wife should not work. If the budget is tight, don’t lust the man better off, and live within your means.
I will write of the wisdom that is should be applied in a family that I have learned recently. Listening, observing, and keeping all your relationships in life appropriate is important. I see that these are important in the wisdom given to Thomas Monson and Frances, when they were sealed by Benjamin Bowring.

“Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another.”
(Hallmarks of a Happy Home)

Keeping proper relationships will keep communication with God and your spouse pure. I don’t see any use of talking if you are not going to listen to each other, neither any use of talking if it is not in real intent within proper relations; furthermore, what is the use of talking and learning of each other, if we don’t observe what would be a higher standard of wisdom, an application of knowledge. This wisdom is important within all relationships. I am a practical person, and in my family I have seem meaningless communication, improper relationships, and no observation of communication. What is the use of communication, if you don’t mean it?
Within the wisdom given to the new young Monson eternal family unit. The three party relationship of a marriage, God, man, and wife is important to keep proper. How do we know the way to properly keep our relationship with God and our spouse proper? We need to not be fooled by the philosophies of man, and cling onto the word of God. From the wisdom of the class, I recall. Parents work together as equals not having the same roles, for the Husband should preside, provide, and protect as the wife is “primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”
How we to keep our relationship proper with God is interesting? For the first time in my life in my life, I was impressed by the relationship that God had with a 2 engaged or soon to be engaged couples. God is the Father of every human being, an all loving, wisdom, and knowledgeable man. The couples would pray to the Father concerning a decision that they are considering, and they felt bad about it; then, in another consideration, they felt good. Another story was that a couple was driving, but they felt that continuing the road trip would not be good. When they decided to turn back, the car started breaking down. Following God’s wisdom is always good, but it seems that we are the ones that does not know how to have a proper relationship with God in prayer, service, and feasting on the word. Listening, observing, communicating, and maintaining a proper relationship seems to be what I am impressed with in this paper.

Hallmarks of a Happy Home

BY PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON

Hallmarks of a Happy Home


“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.” 1

This description of such a universal goal was provided by the Prophet Joseph Smith. It was relevant then. It is relevant now. With such a clear road map to follow, why then are there so many unhappy people? Frequently, frowns outnumber smiles and despair dampens joy. We live so far below the level of our divine possibilities. Some become confused by materialism, entangled by sin, and lost among the passing parade of humanity. Others cry out in the words of the convert of Philip of old: “How can I [find my way], except some man should guide me?” 2

Happiness does not consist of a glut of luxury, the world’s idea of a “good time.” Nor must we search for it in faraway places with strange-sounding names. Happiness is found at home.

All of us remember the home of our childhood. Interestingly, our thoughts do not dwell on whether the house was large or small, the neighborhood fashionable or downtrodden. Rather, we delight in the experiences we shared as a family. The home is the laboratory of our lives, and what we learn there largely determines what we do when we leave there.

Mrs. Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister of Great Britain, expressed the profound philosophy: “The family is the building block of society. It is a nursery, a school, a hospital, a leisure center, a place of refuge and a place of rest. It encompasses the whole of the society. It fashions our beliefs; it is the preparation for the rest of our life.” 3

“Home is where the heart is.” It does take “a heap o’ livin’” to make a house a home. 4 “Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” 5 We turn from the reverie of such pleasant recollections. We contemplate parents gone, family grown, childhood vanished. Slowly but surely we face the truth that we are responsible for the home we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live influence not only the success of our earthly journey; they mark the way to our eternal goals.

In 1995 the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles issued a proclamation to the world concerning the family. This proclamation states, in part: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” 6

Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature large families with father, mother, brothers, and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant. There are, however, identifying features which are to be found in a happy home, whatever the number or description of its family members. I refer to these as “Hallmarks of a Happy Home.” They consist of:

1. A pattern of prayer.
2. A library of learning.
3. A legacy of love.
4. A treasury of testimony.
A Pattern of Prayer
“Prayer is the soul’s sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed.” 7 So universal is its application, so beneficial its result, that prayer qualifies as the number-one hallmark of a happy home. As parents listen to the prayer of a child, they too draw close to God. These little ones, who so recently have been with their Heavenly Father, have no inhibitions in expressing to Him their feelings, their wishes, their thanks.

Family prayer is the greatest deterrent to sin, and hence the most beneficent provider of joy and happiness. The old saying is yet true: “The family that prays together stays together.”

Our prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, has stated: “Fortunate, indeed, are the boys and girls, including those in their teens, in whose homes there is the practice of morning and evening family prayer.” 8

Will you join me as we look in on a typical Latter-day Saint family offering prayers unto God. Father, mother, and each of the children kneel, bow their heads, and close their eyes. A sweet spirit of love, unity, and peace fills the home. As father hears his tiny son pray that his dad will do the right things, do you think that such a father would find it difficult to honor the prayer of his precious son? As a teenage daughter hears her sweet mother plead that her daughter will be inspired in the choice of her companions, that she will prepare herself for a temple marriage, don’t you believe that such a daughter will seek to honor this humble, pleading petition of her mother, whom she so dearly loves? When father, mother, and each of the children earnestly pray that the fine sons in the family will live worthy that they may in due time receive a call to serve as ambassadors of the Lord in the mission fields of the Church, don’t we begin to see how such sons grow to young manhood with an overwhelming desire to serve as missionaries?

As we offer our family prayers and our personal prayers, let us do so with faith and trust in Him. If any of us has been slow to hearken to the counsel to pray always, there is no finer hour to begin than now. Those who feel that prayer might denote a physical weakness should remember that a man never stands taller than when he is upon his knees.

My wife, Frances, and I have been married 53 years. Our marriage took place in the Salt Lake Temple. He who performed the ceremony, Benjamin Bowring, counseled us: “May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another.”

When I was called to the Council of the Twelve Apostles 38 years ago, President David O. McKay, ninth President of the Church, asked me concerning my family. I related to him this guiding formula of prayer and bore witness to its validity. He sat back in his large leather chair and, with a smile, responded, “The same formula that has worked for you has blessed the lives of my family during all these years of our marriage.”

Prayer is the passport to spiritual power.

A Library of Learning
A second hallmark of a happy home is discovered when home is a library of learning. Whether we are preparing to establish our own family or simply considering how to bring heaven closer to our present home, we can learn from the Lord. He is the master architect. He has taught us how we must build.

When Jesus walked the dusty pathways of towns and villages that we now reverently call the Holy Land and taught His disciples by beautiful Galilee, He often spoke in parables, in language the people understood best. Frequently He referred to home building in relationship to the lives of those who listened.

He declared, “Every … house divided against itself shall not stand.” 9 Later He cautioned, “Behold, mine house is a house of order … and not a house of confusion.” 10

In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith at Kirtland, Ohio, December 27, 1832, the Master counseled, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” 11

Where could any of us locate a more suitable blueprint whereby we could wisely and properly build? Such a house would meet the building code outlined in Matthew, even a house built “upon a rock,” 12 a house capable of withstanding the rains of adversity, the floods of opposition, and the winds of doubt everywhere present in our challenging world.

Some might question, “But that revelation was to provide guidance for the construction of a temple. Is it relevant today?”

I would respond: “Did not the Apostle Paul declare, ‘Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?’” 13

Let the Lord be our Guide for the family—even the home—we build.

An essential part of our learning library will be good books.

Books are keys to wisdom’s treasure;
Books are gates to lands of pleasure;
Books are paths that upward lead;
Books are friends. Come, let us read. 14
Reading is one of the true pleasures of life. In our age of mass culture, when so much that we encounter is abridged, adapted, adulterated, shredded, and boiled down, it is mind-easing and mind-inspiring to sit down privately with a congenial book.

Young children also enjoy books and love to have their parents read to them.

The Lord counseled, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” 15

The standard works offer the library of learning to us and to our children.

Several years ago we took our grandchildren on an escorted tour of the Church printing facilities. There, all of us saw the missionary edition of the Book of Mormon coming off the delivery line—printed, bound, and trimmed, ready for reading. I told the grandchildren, “The operator says that you can remove one copy of the Book of Mormon to be your very own. You select the copy, and it will then be yours.”

Each removed one finished copy and expressed his or her love for the Book of Mormon.

I really don’t remember other events of that day, but I shall never forget the honest expressions of love for the Book of Mormon—expressions which came from the hearts of those children.

As parents, we should remember that our lives may be the book from the family library which the children most treasure. Are our examples worthy of emulation? Do we live in such a way that a son or a daughter may say, “I want to follow my dad,” or “I want to be like my mother”? Unlike the book on the library shelf, the covers of which shield the contents, our lives cannot be closed. Parents, we truly are an open book.

A Legacy of Love
A third hallmark of a happy home is a legacy of love.

As a small boy, I enjoyed visiting the home of my grandmother on Bueno Avenue in Salt Lake City. Grandmother was always so happy to see us and to draw us close to her. Seated on her lap, we listened as she read to us.

Her youngest son, my Uncle Ray, and his wife occupied that same home after my grandmother passed away. On a visit to see my Uncle Ray last year, just before he passed away, I noticed that the fireplug on the curb seemed small compared to its size when I climbed its lofty heights those long years ago. The friendly porch was the same; the quiet, peaceful atmosphere not altered. Hanging on the kitchen wall was a framed expression which my aunt had embroidered many years ago. It carried a world of practical application: “Choose your love; love your choice.” Very often this will take compromise, forgiveness, perhaps apology. We must ever be committed to the success of our marriage.

Seemingly little lessons of love are observed by children as they silently absorb the examples of their parents. My own father, a printer, worked long and hard practically every day of his life. I’m certain that on the Sabbath he would have enjoyed just being at home. Rather, he visited elderly family members and brought cheer into their lives.

One was his uncle, who was crippled by arthritis so severe that he could not walk or care for himself. On a Sunday afternoon Dad would say to me, “Come along, Tommy; let’s take Uncle Elias for a short drive.” Boarding the old 1928 Oldsmobile, we would proceed to Eighth West, where, at the home of Uncle Elias, I would wait in the car while Dad went inside. Soon he would emerge from the house, carrying in his arms like a china doll his crippled uncle. I then would open the door and watch how tenderly and with such affection my father would place Uncle Elias in the front seat so he would have a fine view while I occupied the rear seat.

The drive was brief and the conversation limited, but oh, what a legacy of love! Father never read to me from the Bible about the good Samaritan. Rather, he took me with him and Uncle Elias in that old 1928 Oldsmobile along the road to Jericho.

When our homes carry the legacy of love, we will not receive Jacob’s chastisement as recorded in the Book of Mormon: “Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you.” 16

May our homes reflect a legacy of love.

A Treasury of Testimony
A fourth hallmark of a happy home is a treasury of testimony. “The first and foremost opportunity for teaching in the Church lies in the home,” 17 observed President David O. McKay. “A true Mormon home is one in which if Christ should chance to enter, he would be pleased to linger and to rest.” 18

What are we doing to ensure that our homes meet this description? It isn’t enough for parents alone to have strong testimonies. Children can ride only so long on the coattails of a parent’s conviction.

A love for the Savior, a reverence for His name, and genuine respect one for another will provide a fertile seedbed for a testimony to grow.

Learning the gospel, bearing a testimony, leading a family are rarely if ever simple processes. Life’s journey is characterized by bumps in the road, swells in the sea—even the turbulence of our times.

Some years ago, while visiting the members and missionaries in Australia, I witnessed a sublime example depicting how a treasury of testimony can bless and sanctify a home. The mission president, Horace D. Ensign, and I were traveling the long distance from Sydney to Darwin, where I was to break ground for our first chapel in that city. En route we had a scheduled stop at a mining community named Mount Isa. As we entered the small airport at Mount Isa, a woman and her two children approached. She said, “I am Judith Louden, a member of the Church, and these are my two children. We thought you might be on this flight, so we have come to visit with you during your brief stopover.” She explained that her husband was not a member of the Church and that she and the children were indeed the only members in the entire area. We shared lessons and bore testimony.

Time passed. As we prepared to reboard, Sister Louden looked so forlorn, so alone. She pleaded, “You can’t go yet; I have so missed the Church.” Suddenly the loudspeaker announced a 30-minute mechanical delay of our flight. Sister Louden whispered, “My prayer has just been answered.” She then asked how she might influence her husband to show an interest in the gospel. We counseled her to include him in their home Primary lesson each week and be to him a living testimony of the gospel. I mentioned we would send to her a subscription to the Children’s Friend and additional helps for her family teaching. We urged that she never give up on her husband.

We departed Mount Isa, a city to which I have never returned. I shall, however, always hold dear in memory that sweet mother and those precious children extending a tear-filled expression and a fond wave of gratitude and good-bye.

Several years later, while speaking at a priesthood leadership meeting in Brisbane, Australia, I emphasized the significance of gospel scholarship in the home and the importance of living the gospel and being examples of the truth. I shared with the men assembled the account of Sister Louden and the impact her faith and determination had made on me. As I concluded, I said, “I suppose I’ll never know if Sister Louden’s husband ever joined the Church, but he couldn’t have found a better model to follow.”

One of the leaders raised his hand, then stood and declared, “Brother Monson, I am Richard Louden. The woman of whom you speak is my wife. The children [his voice quavered] are our children. We are a forever family now, thanks in part to the persistence and the patience of my dear wife. She did it all.” Not a word was spoken. The silence was broken only by sniffles and marked by many tears.

My brothers and sisters, let us determine, whatever our circumstance, to make of our houses happy homes.

Let us open wide the windows of our hearts, that each family member may feel welcome and “at home.” Let us open also the doors of our very souls, that the dear Christ may enter. Remember His promise: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him.” 19

How welcome He will feel, how joyful will be our lives, when the “Hallmarks of a Happy Home” greet Him, even:

A pattern of prayer,
A library of learning,
A legacy of love,
A treasury of testimony.
May our loving Heavenly Father bless all of us in our quest for such happy homes and forever families.

Ideas for Home Teachers
Some Points of Emphasis

You may wish to make these points in your discussions:

1. The hallmarks for a happy home apply to all families, large and small, and those with but one occupant.
2. Prayer is the passport to spiritual power.
3. The standard works of the Church are the “best books” from which to seek learning.
4. Caring for family members is a legacy we should all strive to achieve.
5. A love of the Savior, a reverence for His name, and a genuine respect for one another provide a fertile seedbed for a testimony to grow in the home.
Discussion Helps

1. Are there some scriptures, quotations, or stories in this article that the family might read aloud and discuss?
2. Relate your feelings about the importance of living in a happy home.
3. Would this discussion be better after a previsit chat with the head of the household? Is there a message from the bishop or quorum leaders?

Words of Comfort for the Guilty and Remorseful

This morning I received a text from a beloved friend, saying "I am filled with guilt and remorseful."

I replied "Guilt and remorse comes because there is truth, requiring a standard of integrity. It is good to feel these feeling, for it is the light of Christ, testifying that you spirit is sensitive to how you treat yourself and others, for your spirit is striving to a complete, whole, and perfect soul. The way to heal your spirit is through the cleansing power of the atonement of Christ.
Jesus Christ has satisfied the demands of justice upheld by the universal standards of truth. Jesus Christ is the source of mercy that we can call upon because he is a perfect just son of God. He also upholds justice, but he can plead for you to God the Father, if you trust his perfection, following his ways. God will not allow any degree of transgression, sin or filth in his kingdom. You are his son, and God's omniscient soul loves you with an incomprehensible love, desiring that you learn what the light of Christ is leading you to do. Christ has authority to plead for mercy against the demands of Justice because he with the same incomprehensible power and love suffered the penalties of sin for every single one of his siblings. He has suffered everything that you have gone through, and he knows how to heal your guilty and remorseful soul. If you follow the guidance of his light, you can be lead to know the universal standards of truth and integrity by his word. You are blessed to live on the same planet as Jesus Christ, the Godly beloved son of the Eternal Father, has, and a complete account of his ways have been recorded by his prophets. Your soul can be guiltless, if you follow the perfect man, who is the literal son of God, and he has conquered death, living today. Jesus Christ has his people to lead, hoping that they remain faithful, for he wants to give his eternal life and joy to all his siblings. Christ has been given God's kingdom and glory because he was perfect, but they do not want to settle with saving one child. God wants the salvation of all his children. God has led a prophet establish his ways and kingdom on earth, and that Kingdom is called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I recommend that you investigate, if my words are true. The church has volunteers for further guidance to the Kingdom of God. They are missionaries as Trevor and I have gone to foreign lands to be healers of Souls, bringing our siblings to be followers of God, the savior of all the children of Heavenly Father. They can be found at Mormon.org, and they can come personally to be representatives of Christ to help you more personally as I am. I will be home next Friday, and I can introduce you to the fullness of the Gospel of Christ, if you would like. Trevor is home as well, and we love you and want the best for you.

Addressing my Family in 2028 concerning China

The most important thing that I have learned this semester from my China class that I would share would be teaching gratitude for the proper foundation that our country is built on. China never had a good foundation. According to my research, China would be in rampant paralyzing protests as were endured in the Euro crisis. I believe that the CCP will lose power, but the transition to another government will be tough as usual for the people. I don’t trust that the United States will be in a good shape either, but the foundation of our nation is more workable.

My Facebook Conversations about China

I had this conversation about my knowledge that I learned from my China Class at BYUI yesterday, and we had a personal conversation after the status.

Dellon Campbell
Yesterday via mobile
The Chinese are the most ill-mannered, dishonest and most corrupt set a ppl ive ever met.
Like ·  · Share
Kiffa JesusineedUnow Davis plz mek sure seh a CHINESE specifically and a SPECIFIC set of Chinese. nuh blanket all Asians with as Chinese even tho it hot.
Yesterday at 7:31am · Like · 1

Dellon Campbell lol, the ones im working with brought a whole new light about the morals they possess
Yesterday at 7:34am via mobile · Like

Kiffa JesusineedUnow Davis lolz. hush breddah.
Yesterday at 7:34am · Like · 1

Alexander Hicken I don't like the Chinese ways either. I am studying the Chinese this semester, and the most I learn about them; the most dislike their ways.
Yesterday at 8:25am via mobile · Like

Chrina Hudson I have to depend on God to help me not to hate them!!
Yesterday at 8:48am via mobile · Like

Dellon Campbell There is good in all men, only if we will look for it. The point is I do no hate them, but their immoral ways.
Yesterday at 11:55am via mobile · Like

Alexander Hicken Yeah. They are amazing people. The immoral nature of their ways and actions of the government, business, and other things are separate from people themselves.
Yesterday at 12:01pm via mobile · Like · 1

Sterling Walker Harsh lol

Young Carter-Md lol a true man. No manners nor courtesy, go in their place and say thanks or anything they don't even answer.

Dellon Campbell
hey bro, how are you. im very interested in you chinese study and what you have learnt

8:18pm
Alexander Hicken
The latest thing that I learned which I dislike is there economic strategy.

8:20pm
Dellon Campbell
what is that like?

8:20pm
Alexander Hicken
The flood the earth with products, selling it at a price that is not even profitable.
The price is so low that competition is destroyed.
All their companies are nearly bankrupt, but they only survive because the government funds them.

8:23pm
Dellon Campbell
and the products have no freaking use bro, easy to break. But just a matter of time before it blows up in their face

8:25pm
Alexander Hicken
Yep, but the government is funding these companies somehow.
I think that their generous loaning position gives them a lot of revenue.
I also don't like how deep of the economic relationships are with so many nations that we depend on them.

8:27pm
Dellon Campbell
makes sense now of course. Give dem loans, send them into foreign lands, and then flood their products into those lands, then send back the money to china hence making the government earning more and more foreign exchange

8:28pm
Alexander Hicken
In about 15 to 20 years they are going to have a crisis similar to Europe, and we are going to have to bail them out.

8:31pm
Dellon Campbell
but wait arent they bailing out america? The thing is, if China crashes, many countries rae going to crash too

8:32pm
Alexander Hicken
They are the leading consumer of imports of so many nations that their collapse is going to make a global recession or depression.
The economy of the nation is so unstable. They don't even know how much debt they have.
I feel like they are playing the whole world as a joke.
They don't report and survey properly to the wto.
It is illegal to demand these documents.

8:35pm
Dellon Campbell
WHAT? does America knows dis?
what the heck?

8:36pm
Alexander Hicken
Probably. I think that the world should quit buy their products to limit the effects of their collapse.
Payback our debts

8:36pm
Dellon Campbell
So all could be going on is that the chinese government could br running on a scam, which im sure they are doing

8:37pm
Alexander Hicken
Yeah.
We have no agenda as they are running all over the world making "mutually economic prosperity deals."

8:39pm
Dellon Campbell
sigh. well let us pray america will be finacially stable hold the world together then

8:39pm
Alexander Hicken
They played ASEAN like an adult stealing a lollipop from a child. The
They are building a 1.5 billion dollar corporate city in an Bangkok to re-export their products.
Have you heard of re-exporting products?

8:41pm
Dellon Campbell
asean? whats dat?
no? im not very business oriented

8:43pm
Alexander Hicken
It is the union of the southeast Asian nations, trying to make their agenda and economies better in globalization.

8:44pm
Dellon Campbell
oh and China is getting involved?
what is re exporting?

8:46pm
Alexander Hicken
These countries need to work with the super powers to raise the marketability of their nation to prosper.
Re-exporting is China selling their products in other countries to avoid the tariffs of the EU and US.

8:49pm
Dellon Campbell
HA! of course i knew there were doing something like that

8:50pm
Alexander Hicken
All their internal affairs are messed up. Banking, real estate, family planning, the three gorge dam, pollution of industry.

8:50pm
Dellon Campbell
Now the chinese are coming into Jamaica and what the government needs to do is to let them build things like those here too

8:50pm
Alexander Hicken
No one owns their own property.

8:51pm
Dellon Campbell
in china?

8:52pm
Alexander Hicken
They are building infrastructure so fast that their is not enough people to live in the cities or no one wants to live there.
They have a lot of ghost town.
Towns

8:56pm
Dellon Campbell
oh? so they are spending the money to take ppl out of poverty then?

8:56pm
Alexander Hicken
The one child policy is disturbing, leading the nation to have the most suicidal rates of women.
Yeah. They are trying to urbanize the population.
They are moving millions of people around like it is for the good of the nation.
Destroying most of their lives.

8:59pm
Dellon Campbell
what the crap. this means they are rewriting their own culture. no wonder the chinese never want to go back. btw, where can I find some of these info?

8:59pm
Alexander Hicken
China is changing like mad.
They dammed the most destructive river in the world, destroying 16 cities.

9:01pm
Dellon Campbell
no sah? the government must be up to something. why and why? removing poverty?

9:01pm
Alexander Hicken
They are building cities for these people; 20 each year.
I don't know what they are trying to do. They have to have some crazy vision of the country.

9:03pm
Dellon Campbell
wow? so are any ppl going into them atleast?

9:03pm
Alexander Hicken
Another thing that I don't like is that China claim nations as theirs and try to assimilate them.

9:04pm
Dellon Campbell
wait? they destroyed 16 of their own cities?

9:05pm
Alexander Hicken
The Tibetans, Ughiurs, Taiwanese,

9:05pm
Dellon Campbell
wow

9:06pm
Alexander Hicken
There is 52 or so minorities that they are destroying their culture.

9:07pm
Dellon Campbell
i know about the tibetans. they really want their freedom. where can i find some of these information for further reading?

9:07pm
Alexander Hicken
I just learned that Macau is another satellite land of the country like Hong Kong and Taiwan, and I don't know that history.

9:08pm
Dellon Campbell
macau. i heard thta name before hmm! i thought hong kong had more freedom

9:09pm
Alexander Hicken
We have studied a book and several website documents. I can give you the class selections.

9:09pm
Dellon Campbell
oh plz do

9:10pm
Alexander Hicken
Hong Kong only has freedom because the opium wars and Britain.

9:11pm
Dellon Campbell
oh! because i know they speak cantonese and was once owned by britain!

9:15pm
Alexander Hicken
these two videos are about Buddhist monk immolations in Tibet:
http://www.aljazeera.com/video/asia/2011/09/20119277016159659.html
[Warning: the following video contains disturbing images. You may skip it if you wish.] http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-17761598
Look up “Serfdom in Tibet controversy” in Wikipedia

9:16pm
Alexander Hicken
The future of Tibet: Might China change tack?
An interview with Rob Gifford (author of China Road) about China's policies towards Tibet
Might China change tack? The Economist (video)
Into the Hermit Kingdom - A fascinating blog with great pictures and videos about Tibet
http://intothemiddlekingdom.com/category/tibet/
Tibet: A new way forward
Tibet-A_new_way_forward-Th

9:16pm
Alexander Hicken
e_Economist.pdf
Tibet Policy: Bold new proposals
Tibet-Bold_new_proposals-The_Economist.pdf
Two Million (2,000,000!?) Tibetans Resettled?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-23081653
China Seeks to Halt Tibetan Self-Immolations by Barbara Demick in the Los Angeles Times - Nov 5 2012
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/nov/05/world/la-fg-tibet-immolations-20121106

9:16pm
Alexander Hicken
Dharamsala Guide
http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/dharamsala-guide
Central Tibetan Administration
http://www.tibet.net/en/index.php
China’s Current Policy on Tibet
http://www.tpprc.org/documents/white_papers-china/China_current_policy_Tibet.pdf
Qingzang (Qinghai-Tibet) Railway
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qinghai–Tibet_Railway
http://dayrecipe.com/2008/04

9:16pm
Alexander Hicken
/13/tibet-part-iii-qingzang-railway
Free Tibet Articles
http://www.freetibet.org/
Study Points to Heavy-Handed Repression of Tibetan Area in China
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/13/world/asia/study-points-to-heavy-handed-repression-of-tibetan-area-in-china.html
Tibet: Flashback to the Chinese 'deal'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/1346763.stm
Video: China

9:16pm
Alexander Hicken
articles/2012/03/13/tibet_self_immolation?page=0,0
Seven Questions: What Tibetans Want
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2008/03/25/seven_questions_what_tibetans_want
Fasting for Tibet outside the UN
http://www.aljazeera.com/video/americas/2012/03/201231045555933800.html

9:19pm
Dellon Campbell
oh wait could you email them to impep@live.com as im on ma cell

9:29pm
Alexander Hicken
What works best for you PDFs, Word Documents, what?

9:30pm
Dellon Campbell
either is ok. what ever is easier for u

9:35pm
Alexander Hicken
It's sent,
I should prepare to go to sleep.

9:40pm
Dellon Campbell
by all menas bro and dank u for all the info, i should get reading. hail up yu breda fi mi. tek care man

9:51pm
Alexander Hicken
A theory is that China is trying to monopolize the world; then, raise the prices of the products to be profitable.

9:52pm
Dellon Campbell
world power bro! they want it

9:56pm
Alexander Hicken
I don't think that it will work because when competition is fierce, when they raise prices another company can bet them out. Their competitive edge is weaning as the population is shrinking.
They are barely surviving as a country, running insane risks.

9:59pm
Dellon Campbell
their population. i mean they are creating a population mess for themselves

9:59pm
Alexander Hicken
With a GDP growth consistently high.

10:00pm
Dellon Campbell
hmm! and wow!

10:00pm
Alexander Hicken
They have run out of surplus workers already.
About 8% each quarter
GDP growth

10:02pm
Dellon Campbell
are they importing workers?

10:03pm
Alexander Hicken
I have not looked that up. I have not heard anything about that idea.
They are always importing educators, but I don't know about other industries.
Foreigners come to run businesses in China often.

10:04pm
Dellon Campbell
there are so many strange things happening with em bro

10:08pm
Alexander Hicken
Yeah. Everything is backwards.
Even their names.
Haha
Last to first

10:10pm
Dellon Campbell
lol

10:11pm
Alexander Hicken
The parents don't teach their children to read.
They wait for the school system to.

10:12pm
Dellon Campbell
really? but i always thought the chinese were brilliant ppl

10:15pm
Alexander Hicken
They are brilliant because they are felt in the dust without an university education, if they fail to college entry exam.
The government pays for their university education, but if you fail it is hard to get into a university and you have to pay for everything yourself.

10:17pm
Dellon Campbell
oh! i guess noone fails then

10:17pm
Alexander Hicken
If you fail, you can't move forward either.
The pressure is so intense to learn and pass all these exams.
There are an excessive amount of exams.

10:19pm
Dellon Campbell
wow! is their education system on par with the us system?

10:20pm
Alexander Hicken
They study in high school oftentimes away from home, studying all day.
Classes from morning to evening

10:21pm
Dellon Campbell
wow!.!!!!!

10:21pm
Alexander Hicken
They don't teach creativity and important skills.
This education system is not uncommon.

10:22pm
Dellon Campbell
what? and make sense! pretty much slaving or encoding their minds with their way of things

10:22pm
Alexander Hicken
It's the same in Korea.

10:22pm
Dellon Campbell
what do they teach?
north or south

10:22pm
Alexander Hicken
They teach from the exams.
South Korea
I don't know much about the North Korean education system. They teach crazy state propaganda though.
I don't know how well. The education system is in China. It has to be fruitful.
Their literacy rate is really good.

10:25pm
Dellon Campbell
wow south korea is a prospering country. so maybe dat education system is wrkn. here in jamaica ours involves alot of thinking
but when it is compared to other literary system say like america. does it match up?

10:27pm
Alexander Hicken
Yeah. Did I tell you that my education teacher thinks that the US is weird because all we do is focus on content in the primary schools, and we don't teach thinking?
Our education system is pretty bad.
I should say my prayers and sleep now.

10:28pm
Dellon Campbell
oh dang! what of the British system?

10:28pm
Alexander Hicken
Good night.
They are more experimental about education, but I don't know it well.

10:29pm
Dellon Campbell
ys man me too. we must continue. tanks for the knowledge
Today

Will China be the next great super power?

It is predicted that China will face a situation similar to the Eurocrisis in about 15 - 20 years.

The sources of Tyson Cook and Jon Snider

“China’s Wen Jiabao says ‘reforms urgent’ 14 March 2012

“China From The Inside.” PBS. PBS. March 2007. Web. 10 July 2013

Watt, Louise. “China Air Pollution Study Claims Coal Burning May Have Shortened Residents' Lifespans” Green. Green, June 2013. Web. 10 July 2013

My sources

"China’s population Peak toil." 

Economist. The Economist Newspaper Limited, 26 Jan. 2013. Web. 11 July 2013. <http://www.economist.com/news/china/21570750-first-two-articles-about-impact-chinas-one-child-policy-we-look-shrinking>.

Chang, Gordon G. "Is China Running Out Of Workers?." 

Forbes. Forbes.com LLC, 20 Jan. 2013. Web. 11 July 2013. <http://www.forbes.com/sites/gordonchang/2013/01/20/is-china-running-out-of-workers/>.

"The Implications of China's Shrinking Wo." Host Media Eghbal. 

Euromonitor International. Euromonitor. 14 June 2013. Web. 11 July 2013. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oHbETB0u8k>.

"China Reality Check Series: Subsidies to." Host Christopher K. Johnson, Usha C V. Haley, and George T. Haley. 

CSCS: Center for Strategic & Internation. 17 June 2013. Web. 11 July 2013. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_59l18_zYg>.

Cook, Michael. "Will the one-child policy wreck China’s economy?." 

MercatorNet.com. encyclomedia, 14 Dec. 2009. Web. 11 July 2013. <http://www.mercatornet.com/demography/view/6239>.

Dvorsky, George. "The Unintended Consequences Of China's One-child Policy." io9. Gawker Media 2013, 3 Oct. 2012. Web. 12 July 2013. <http://io9.com/5948528/the-unintended-consequences-of-chinas-one+child-policy>.

Q & A about the Family

1) Remember Tyson and Jenny? They've been married for a couple of years now, and Tyson seems reluctant to preside over family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. In fact, without Jenny, these things probably wouldn't happen. How would you counsel Jenny in working with Tyson who seems to be all-too-content to let her lead out in their family's spiritual matters?

I understand the role that you have, for my parents are like that. I have had to lead the family by reminding my parents of their role. I recognize that my parents play a passive role requiring the faith of the entire family to work properly. If the children did not have family prayer as a priority, the family would not practice family prayer. I would have to insist of the important family standards of like Family Home Evening and Family Prayer. Family Scripture study was scraped for a reason unknown to me. The practice has been counted probably less than 50 in my entire life. I have learned the skill to always remind, but let the partiarchial order lead. I don't have the role to be a co-equal with my father, but I would think that counseling with him consistently, concerning the expected practices of family home evening, prayer, and scripture study. If I were a co-equal with someone to lead a family, I would always be counseling with my companion how to lead the family. You may not lead the family, but counseling with Tyson, you always remind him of his role. Let him decide.

2) What stuck out most to you from the panel discussion?
 
The thing that stuck out to me most is the humility of the fathers and the faith of the mothers. They have taken their roles according to their personality, trying to exercise the greatest wisdom that they know. Their advice seems to be from veteran parents, recommending their wisdom. I did not like how they said that preparation for parenthood is limited.

Family life is the most important thing in the world, and the Earth has been around for many millennia. I would think that the wisdom would abound especially in our age of scientific discovery. There is so much knowledge of humanity and human development.

3) We discussed some elements of what mothers do for families and what fathers do for families. In 150 words or fewer, how are these contributions similar? How are they different?

 
The father's role is to provide, and the mother's role is to nurture the family. The gender differences of male and female seem to be the difference between each other. Mothers and fathers seem to have opposites. The mother stays at home to nurture for the children, and the father goes out to provide for the children everything that they need. The co-equal part in the union of husband and wife unites these roles as father do not only provide the funds for food, security, shelter, education, and so forth, but the husband works with the mother to provide the bread of life to nourish every member of the family. I hope that you recognize that the bread of life is the word of God and everything else that is necessary to provide for every need for a child.

To the Mothers in Zion

President Ezra Taft Benson Fireside for Parents
22 February 1987


I rejoice in the opportunity of being with you this evening.

I have been touched by the beautiful music and the splendid instructions we have received.

There is no theme I would rather speak to than home and family, for they are at the very heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Church, in large part, exists for the salvation and exaltation of the family.

At a recent general priesthood meeting, I spoke directly to the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood regarding their duties and responsibilities.

Shortly thereafter, at a general women's conference, I spoke to the young women of the Church, discussing their opportunities and their sacred callings.

Tonight, at this fireside for parents, seeking the sweet inspiration of heaven, I would like to speak directly to the mothers assembled here and throughout the Church, for you are, or should be, the very heart and soul of the family.

No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother.

This evening I pay tribute to the mothers in Zion and pray with all my heart that what I have to say to you will be understood by the Spirit and will lift and bless your lives in your sacred callings as mothers.

President David O. McKay declared: "Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security, her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world." (Gospel Ideals, p. 452.)

President McKay continues: "Motherhood consists of three principal attributes or qualities: namely, (1) the power to bear, (2) the ability to rear, (3) the gift to love. . . This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, . . . deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God." (Gospel Ideals, pp. 453-54.)

With all my heart I endorse the words of President McKay.

In the eternal family, God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, to love, to teach, and to direct.

But a mother's role is also God-ordained. Mothers are to conceive, to nourish, to love, and to train. So declare the revelations.

In Section 132 of Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord states that the opportunity and responsibility of wives is "to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfill the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world, and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may be glorified" (D&C 132:62). With this divine injunction, husbands and wives, as co-creators, should eagerly and prayerfully invite children into their homes.

Then, as each child joins their family circle, they can gratefully exclaim, as did Hannah, "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: therefore also I have lent him to the Lord: as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord" (1 Samuel 1:27-28).

Isn't that beautiful? A mother praying to bear a child and then giving him to the Lord.

I have always loved the words of Solomon: "Children are an heritage of the Lord and . . . happy is the man [and woman] that hath [their] quiver full of them" (see Psalm 127: 3-5 ).

I know the special blessings of a large and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children. Being the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual consideration, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that home.

Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in heaven.

Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, "We'll wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we've obtained a few of the material conveniences," and on and on.

This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing children.

Do not curtail the number of your children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children--not possessions, not position, not prestige--are our greatest jewels.

Brigham Young emphasized: "There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?--To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 197).

Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. To have those sweet spirits come into the home is worth practically any sacrifice.

We realize that some women, through no fault of their own, are not able to bear children. To these lovely sisters, every prophet of God has promised that they will be blessed with children in the eternities and that posterity will not be denied them.

Through pure faith, pleading prayers, fasting, and special priesthood blessings, many of these same lovely sisters, with their noble companions at their sides have had miracles take place in their lives and have been blessed with children. Others have prayerfully chosen to adopt children, and to these wonderful couples we salute you for the sacrifices and love you have given to those children you have chosen to be your own.

Now, my dear mothers, knowing of your divine role to bear and rear children and bring them back to Him, how will you accomplish this in the Lord's way? I say the Lord's way, because it is different from the world's way.

The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam--not Eve--was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the market place.

Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken" (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.

We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.

In a home where there is an able-bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect their wives to go out of the home and work even though the husband is still capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job be is able secure may not be ideal and family budgeting will have to be tighter.

Our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball had much to say about the role of mothers in the home and their callings and responsibilities. I am impressed tonight to share with you some of his inspired pronouncements. I fear that much of his counsel has gone unheeded, and families have suffered because of it. But I stand this evening as a second witness to the truthfulness of what President Spencer W. Kimball said. He spoke as a true prophet of God.

President Kimball declared: "Women are to take care of the family--the Lord has so stated--to be an assistant to the husband, to work with him, but not to earn the living, except in unusual circumstances. Men ought to be men indeed and earn the living under normal circumstances" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 318 ).

President Kimball continues: "Too many mothers work away from home to furnish sweaters and music lessons and trips and fun for their children. Too many women spend their time in socializing, in politicking, in public services when they should be home to teach and train and receive and love their children into security" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 319).

Remember the counsel of President Kimball to John and Mary: "Mary, you are to become a career woman in the greatest career on earth--that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render.

Again President Kimball speaks: "The husband is expected to support his family and only in an emergency should a wife secure outside employment. Her place is in the home, to build the home into a haven of delight.

"Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevent the complete and proper home life, break into the family prayers, create an independence which is not cooperative, causes distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born" (Spencer W. Kimball, San Antonio Fireside, Dec. 3, 1977, pp. 9-10 ).

Finally President Kimball counsels: "I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family: Wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home from the factory, the cafe. No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother--cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.

"When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and eternity" (Spencer W. Kimball, San Antonio Fireside, Dec. 3, 1977, pp. 11-12).

President Kimball spoke the truth. His words are prophetic.

Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all.

With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children.

First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going--when they leave and return from school--when they leave and return from dates--when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen. In Proverbs we read: "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15). Among the greatest concerns in our society are the millions of latchkey children who come home daily to empty houses unsupervised by working parents.

Second, mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them, sing with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them. Yes, regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child. Be a real friend to your children.

Third, mothers, take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters. Remember what the poet said, "You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be--I had a mother who read to me" (Strickland Gillilan, "The Reading Mother"). You will plant a love for good literature and a real love for the scriptures if you will read to your children regularly.

Fourth, take time to pray with your children. Family prayers, under the direction of the father, should be held morning and night. Have your children feel of your faith as you call down the blessings of heaven upon them. Paraphrasing the word of James: "The . . . fervent prayer of a righteous [mother ] availeth much" (James 5: 16 ). Have your children participate in family and personal prayers and rejoice in their sweet utterances to their Father in Heaven.

Fifth, take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. With your husband presiding, participate in a spiritual and an uplifting home evening each week. Have your children actively involved. Teach them correct principles. Make this one of your great family traditions. Remember the marvelous promise made by President Joseph F. Smith when home evenings were first introduced to the Church: "If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them." This wonderful promise is still in effect today.

Sixth, take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible. This is a challenge as the children get older and lives get busier. But happy conversation, sharing of the day's plans and activities, and special teaching moments occur at mealtime because mothers and fathers and children work at it.

Seventh, take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family. Individual scripture reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital. Reading the Book of Mormon together as a family will especially bring increased spirituality into your home and will give both parents and children the power to resist temptation and to have the Holy Ghost as their constant companion. I promise you that the Book of Mormon will change the lives of your family.

Eighth, take time to do things together as a family. Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders. Whenever possible, attend as a family, events where one of the family members is involved, such as a school play, a ball game, a talk, a recital. Attend Church meetings together and sit together as a family when you can. Mothers who help families pray and play together will stay together and will bless children's lives forever.

Ninth, mothers, take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments. This can be done anytime during the day--at mealtime, in casual settings, or at special sit-down times together, at the foot of the bed at the end of the day, or during an early morning walk together. Mothers, you are your children's best teacher. Don't shift this precious responsibility to day-care centers or babysitters. A mother's love and prayerful concern for her children are her most important ingredients in teaching her own.

Teach children gospel principles. Teach them it pays to be good. Teach them there is no safety in sin. Teach them a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a testimony of its divinity.

Teach your sons and daughters modesty and teach them to respect manhood and womanhood. Teach your children sexual purity, proper dating standards, temple marriage, missionary service, and the importance of accepting and magnifying Church callings.

Teach them a love for work and the value of a good education.

Teach them the importance of the right kind of entertainment, including appropriate movies, and videos, and music, and books, and magazines. Discuss the evils of pornography and drugs and teach them the value of living the clean life.

Yes, mothers, teach your children the gospel in your own home, at your own fireside. This is the most effective teaching that your children will ever receive. This is the Lord's way of teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The day-care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain you. Your children will remember your teachings forever, and when they are old, they will not depart from them. They will call you blessed--their truly angel mother.

Mothers, this kind of heavenly, motherly teaching takes time--lots of time. It cannot be done effectively part time. It must be done all the time in order to save and exalt your children. This is your divine calling.

Tenth and finally, mothers, take the time to truly love your children. A mother's unqualified love approaches Christlike love.

Here is a beautiful tribute by a son to his mother: "I don't remember much about her views of voting nor her social prestige; and what her ideas on child training, diet, and eugenics were, I cannot recall. The main thing that sifts back to me now through the thick undergrowth of years is that she loved me. She liked to lie on the grass with me and tell stories, or to run and hide with us children. She was always hugging me. . . . And I liked it. She had a sunny face. To me it was like God, and all the beatitudes saints tell of Him. And sing! Of all the sensations pleasurable to my life nothing can compare with the rapture of crawling up into her lap and going to sleep while she swung to and fro in her rocking chair and sang. Thinking of this, I wonder if the woman of today, with all her tremendous notions and plans, realizes what an almighty factor she is in shaping of her child for weal or woe? I wonder if she realizes how much sheer love and attention count for in a child's life."

Mothers, your teenage children also need that same kind of love and attention. It seems easier for many mothers and fathers to express and show their love to their children when they are young, but more difficult when they are older. Work at this prayerfully. There need be no generation gap. And the key is love. Our young people need love and attention, not indulgence. They need empathy and understanding, not indifference from mothers and fathers. They need the parents' time. A mother's kindly teachings and her love for and confidence in a teenage son or daughter can literally save them from a wicked world.

In closing, I would be remiss this evening if I did not express my love and eternal gratitude for my sweetheart and companion and the mother of our six children. Her devotion to motherhood has blessed me and our family beyond words of expression. She has been a marvelous mother, completely and happily devoting her life and her mission to her family. How grateful I am for Flora.

May I also express my gratitude to you fathers and husbands assembled this evening. We look to you to give righteous leadership in your home and families and, with your companions and the mothers of your children, to lead your families back to our Eternal Father.

Now God bless our wonderful mothers. We pray for you. We sustain you. We honor you as you bear, nourish, train, teach, and love for eternity. I promise you the blessings of heaven and "all that [the] Father hath" (see D&C 84:38) as you magnify the noblest calling of all--a mother in Zion.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

To the Fathers in Israel

My dear brethren, I am grateful to be here with you in this glorious assembly of the priesthood of God. I pray that the Spirit of the Lord will be with me and with you as I address you on a most vital subject. This evening I would like to speak to the fathers assembled here and throughout the Church about their sacred callings.

I hope you young men will also listen carefully, inasmuch as you are now preparing to become the future fathers of the Church.

Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released. Callings in the Church, as important as they are, by their very nature are only for a period of time, and then an appropriate release takes place. But a father’s calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity.

President Harold B. Lee truly stated that “the most important of the Lord’s work that you [fathers] will ever do will be the work you do within the walls of your own home. Home teaching, bishopric’s work, and other Church duties are all important, but the most important work is within the walls of your home” (Strengthening the Home, pamphlet, 1973, p. 7).

What, then, is a father’s specific responsibility within the sacred walls of his home? May I suggest two basic responsibilities of every father in Israel.

First, you have a sacred responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family.

The Lord clearly defined the roles of providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam, not Eve, was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow.

The Apostle Paul counsels husbands and fathers, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:8).

Early in the history of the restored Church, the Lord specifically charged men with the obligation to provide for their wives and family. In January of 1832 He said, “Verily I say unto you, that every man who is obliged to provide for his own family, let him provide, and he shall in nowise lose his crown” (D&C 75:28). Three months later the Lord said again, “Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken” (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. While she cares for and nourishes her children at home, her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible.

In a home where there is an able-bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect the wives to go out of the home and work, even though the husband is still capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job he is able to secure may not be ideal and family budgeting may have to be tighter.

Also, the need for education or material things does not justify the postponing of children in order to keep the wife working as the breadwinner of the family.

I remember the counsel of our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball to married students. He said: “I have told tens of thousands of young folks that when they marry they should not wait for children until they have finished their schooling and financial desires. … They should live together normally and let the children come. …

“I know of no scriptures,” President Kimball continued, “where an authorization is given to young wives to withhold their families and go to work to put their husbands through school. There are thousands of husbands who have worked their own way through school and have reared families at the same time” (“Marriage Is Honorable,” in Speeches of the Year, 1973, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1974, p. 263).

Brethren of the priesthood, I continue to emphasize the importance of mothers staying home to nurture, care for, and train their children in the principles of righteousness.

As I travel throughout the Church, I feel that the great majority of Latter-day Saint mothers earnestly want to follow this counsel. But we know that sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even insistence, of her husband. It is he who wants the items of convenience that the extra income can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered. I say to all of you, the Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home.

Fathers, another vital aspect of providing for the material needs of your family is the provision you should be making for your family in case of an emergency. Family preparedness has been a long-established welfare principle. It is even more urgent today.

I ask you earnestly, have you provided for your family a year’s supply of food, clothing, and, where possible, fuel? The revelation to produce and store food may be as essential to our temporal welfare today as boarding the ark was to the people in the days of Noah.

Also, are you living within your income and saving a little?

Are you honest with the Lord in the payment of your tithes? Living this divine law will bring both spiritual and material blessings.

Yes, brethren, as fathers in Israel you have a great responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family and to have the necessary provisions in case of emergency.

Second, you have a sacred responsibility to provide spiritual leadership in your family.

In a pamphlet published some years ago by the Council of the Twelve, we said the following: “Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home” (Father, Consider Your Ways, pamphlet, 1973, pp. 4–5).

However, along with that presiding position come important obligations. We sometimes hear accounts of men, even in the Church, who think that being head of the home somehow puts them in a superior role and allows them to dictate and make demands upon their family.

The Apostle Paul points out that “the husband is the head of the wife,even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23; italics added). That is the model we are to follow in our role of presiding in the home. We do not find the Savior leading the Church with a harsh or unkind hand. We do not find the Savior treating His Church with disrespect or neglect. We do not find the Savior using force or coercion to accomplish His purposes. Nowhere do we find the Savior doing anything but that which edifies, uplifts, comforts, and exalts the Church. Brethren, I say to you with all soberness, He is the model we must follow as we take the spiritual lead in our families.

Particularly is this true in your relationship with your wife.

Here again the counsel from the Apostle Paul is most beautiful and to the point. He said simply, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church” (Eph. 5:25).

In latter-day revelation the Lord speaks again of this obligation. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). To my knowledge there is only one other thing in all scripture that we are commanded to love with all our hearts, and that is God Himself. Think what that means!

This kind of love can be shown for your wives in so many ways. First and foremost, nothing except God Himself takes priority over your wife in your life—not work, not recreation, not hobbies. Your wife is your precious, eternal helpmate—your companion.

What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion. Surely when you love your wife with all your heart, you cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her, or abuse her by words, sullen behavior, or actions.

What does it mean to “cleave unto her”? It means to stay close to her, to be loyal and faithful to her, to communicate with her, and to express your love for her.

Love means being sensitive to her feelings and needs. She wants to be noticed and treasured. She wants to be told that you view her as lovely and attractive and important to you. Love means putting her welfare and self-esteem as a high priority in your life.

You should be grateful that she is the mother of your children and the queen of your home, grateful that she has chosen homemaking and motherhood—to bear, to nourish, to love, and to train your children—as the noblest calling of all.

Husbands, recognize your wife’s intelligence and her ability to counsel with you as a real partner regarding family plans, family activities, and family budgeting. Don’t be stingy with your time or with your means.

Give her the opportunity to grow intellectually, emotionally, and socially as well as spiritually.

Remember, brethren, love can be nurtured and nourished by little tokens. Flowers on special occasions are wonderful, but so is your willingness to help with the dishes, change diapers, get up with a crying child in the night, and leave the television or the newspaper to help with the dinner. Those are the quiet ways we say “I love you” with our actions. They bring rich dividends for such little effort.

This kind of loving priesthood leadership applies to your children as well as to your wife.

Mothers play an important role as the heart of the home, but this in no way lessens the equally important role fathers should play, as head of the home, in nurturing, training, and loving their children.

As the patriarch in your home, you have a serious responsibility to assume leadership in working with your children. You must help create a home where the Spirit of the Lord can abide. Your place is to give direction to all family life. You should take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline.

Your homes should be havens of peace and joy for your family. Surely no child should fear his own father—especially a priesthood father. A father’s duty is to make his home a place of happiness and joy. He cannot do this when there is bickering, quarreling, contention, or unrighteous behavior. The powerful effect of righteous fathers in setting an example, disciplining and training, nurturing and loving is vital to the spiritual welfare of his children.

With love in my heart for the fathers in Israel, may I suggest ten specific ways that fathers can give spiritual leadership to their children:

1. 1. 
   Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become spiritual highlights in the lives of your children.
2. 2. 
   Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.
3. 3. 
   Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.
4. 4. 
   Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children. As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball games and recitals, to school programs, and so forth. Having Dad there makes all the difference.
5. 5. 
   Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.
6. 6. 
   Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities.
7. 7. 
   Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. Establishing mission funds and education funds for your children shows them what Dad considers to be important.
8. 8. 
   Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.
9. 9. 
   As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.
10. 10. 
    Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.

Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! Your responsibilities are so important.

Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel—your most important calling in time and eternity—a calling from which you will never be released.

May you always provide for the material needs of your family and, with your eternal companion at your side, may you fulfill your sacred responsibility to provide the spiritual leadership in your home.

To this end I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.